I’ve talked about waiting before. I guess it is still on my heart. Jenny and I got our first approved home pass and it starts Saturday, we can’t wait. We also got news that other things we had looked at might be moving faster, but it isn't definite, so we wait. We also look to the promises God gave us individually that we have been looking to for years. At times they have felt almost tangibly close and at others like only a mist in the wind. Regardless we try to maintain faith that these are indeed the promises of God.
We haven't always been so awesome at maintaining that faith. In Texas Jenny and I sank into a type of despair. I am not sure how completely we have removed that cancer from our lives yet, but I can tell you Jesus was present through it all offering encouragement in lots of places. One for instance happened while I was on my way to work. I had the radio playing in the background not paying a great deal of attention when a line seemed to jump into the air and grab my attention. I heard Toby Mac sing, “You lose your way, you get back up again, its never too late to get back up again, hold on your gonna shine again, you maybe knocked down but not out forever.”
I listened to the rest of the song in tears as I heard the Holy Spirit offering once again His promise. I think sometimes that knowing the promise and living the in between can be more difficult than not knowing the promise. The good thing about the i n between though, is that it is only in between which means there is something else coming.
Nehemiah lived in a very dismal in between. The Israelites had been in Babylon in exile for hundreds of years and those who had actually been able to remain in Jerusalem lived in disgrace, fear, and danger.
1:1 The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah.
Now it happened in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the capital, 2 that Hanani, one of my brothers, came with certain men from Judah. And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem. 3 And they said to me, “The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.”
4 As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.
Nehemiah was greatly moved by the condition of his people. He knew the promise of God and yet the condition of the children of that promise lived in complete insecurity. Nehemiah’s response is one that I wish I could model more often.
5 And I said, “O Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, 6 let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants, confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even I and my father's house have sinned. 7 We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules that you commanded your servant Moses. 8 Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples, 9 but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.’ 10 They are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. 11 O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.”
Now I was cupbearer to the king.
Nehemiah’s prayer has three main parts. First he is worshipping God for who He is; and recognizing to Himself who God is. It is good to remind ourselves of that from time to time.
Next he repents. In both a corporate and personal way Nehemiah recognizes his failures in a specific way. You can feel the genuine repentance in these words.
Finally Nehemiah recalls the Words and promises of God. If only we knew God’s word well enough to recall the specific promises of God for our situations and speak them into our lives. Oh, that’s right, we have the book… Guess all we have to do is read it.
Nehemiah does not simply speak the promise into his situation, he then prays that God listen and work out His promises in that situation. He lays it at God’s feet and recognizes that it is in His hands. With the wording here the action of faith is a given. He asks that God grant him favor to act. How often do we just ask for things to fall together without the action? To much for my comfort that’s sure.
Then in one small statement at the end of this chapter Nehemiah both comments on his plan and recognizes the size of the favor he is asking God for. Now I was cupbearer to the king.
Read here, I just might die. Cupbearer was a trusted position, but not one where you were expected to be seen and heard before the king. We aren't talking merciful Christian kings, we are talking pagan conquering kings. Nehemiah had a lot at stake.
Often we look forward to a promise God has given us but we refuse to act in faith and instead grumble impatiently. If only I had the faith to pray Nehemiah’s prayer and ask for favor as I act. As it is I have no place to complain about God’s timing.
But walking is hard…
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