Discipline?

Ok, so I know there aren't pictures associated with this post, but I needed to weigh in on something and I didn't see making a new blog! I hope you will be patient with me.

My wife pointed out a Dear Abby article to me where a school teacher berated the primal and evil, not to mention unenlightened, barbarity of physical discipline concerning your children. She went on to rant that she could see patterns proving that children who were disciplined in this manner were going to hit other children and were most likely behavior problems. Furthermore she said it caused serious psychological damage...

Here is where I wanted to weigh in...

I was spanked as a child. It caused no psychological issues. It did however teach me appropriate boundaries, the importance of respect and discipline, and stood as a testament that my parents cared enough to do something. I never had to wonder about the reality behind warnings... I knew what consequences were. I never felt my parents were to heavy handed, or abusive, or were hitting me because they were angry. In fact, it was fairly obvious that they didn't like giving me the spanking either.

I find myself confronting an entire generation of 'time out Timmy's" and jelly spined parents that appear, for lack of a better word, afraid of their children. As a Youth Minister and a Direct Care Worker, and the husband of a Teacher, I have seen children practically beg for harsh discipline. Why? They want some proof that someone cares enough to do it. They want the security and safety of enforced boundaries. They want to know that, yes if they step a foot wrong they will face consequences, but that if someone makes a step towards them they have to protection of that same solid parent.

If all they get for any infraction is a time out, what will happen to someone who threatens them? A time out? Hardly comforting.

So here we have quickly decaying boundaries between parents a children, rampant lack of discipline among adults or Children, and a growing belief that anyone who does hold a standard, any standard save tolerance, is barbaric.

The sad fact is parenting without discipline leads to brats that tell their parents what to do so that they feel like their is SOMEONE in some type of control, offering some type of security. We have parents who cant muster enough love to teach their children proper consequences.

Now, for those who strive to stay consistent and strong with their non-physical punishment. I do want to apologize for any offence taken. I do not envy the unmeasurable task ahead of you in trying to figure out how to teach a creative, headstrong, and stubborn child the life lessons they will need to function as healthy adults.

I have never railed on anyone for choosing time outs regardless of my feelings about the method. This is why I did not choose to write a reply to the "teacher" who was spread by Abby. Yet when someone regards someone else's proven attempts to raise a strong and healthy child as barbaric and then spreads this opinion as documented truth, spouting lies, and claiming some sense of positional authority... well needless to say it makes me more than a tad irritated.

Again, I want to apologize for anyone who might find offense, but let it be known from Youth Ministry, to Direct Care, to Public Schools every single serious behavior problem I have ever seen had one thing in common. Parents whose strictest form of discipline was a 10 minute time out, or taking away the child's smart phone for a couple of hours.

Spanking is barbaric? I think allowing a child to grow with never an indication of consequences beyond a time out or having some toy taken away, and then letting them face the world with never a clue... that is barbaric and unloving to boot.