Dried bug juice anyone? And they charge you $10 a cup for that! I must admit I am not too terribly concerned as I don’t drink Starbucks coffee in any form, but I would say there were a few who were surprised. Not many order coffee and expect bugs. Of course I would be surprised if anyone always got what they expected.
In fact coffee, meals, parking spaces, or anything else and we seem to have this sense of entitlement. We disserve to get this or be treated that way. After a while this attitude of entitlement gets out of control, no longer do we expect simple courtesy, now we expect to be pandered to.
This is a dangerous attitude in any area of life, and an unattractive one, but it is specifically dangerous for a Builder. Nothing will stall your rebuilding process like feeling that you deserve to be catered to because of what has happened or that you are entitled to certain allowances.
Some have had significantly bad things happen and are trying to rebuild from things no one should have to face. The problem is that our past does not determine our future, only our choices can do that. Your past isn’t responsible for your choices, you are.
Nehemiah found out how destructive this feeling of entitlement can be.
5:1 Now there arose a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers. 2 For there were those who said, “With our sons and our daughters, we are many. So let us get grain, that we may eat and keep alive.” 3 There were also those who said, “We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards, and our houses to get grain because of the famine.” 4 And there were those who said, “We have borrowed money for the king's tax on our fields and our vineyards. 5 Now our flesh is as the flesh of our brothers, our children are as their children. Yet we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves, and some of our daughters have already been enslaved, but it is not in our power to help it, for other men have our fields and our vineyards.”
6 I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these words. 7 I took counsel with myself, and I brought charges against the nobles and the officials. I said to them, “You are exacting interest, each from his brother.” And I held a great assembly against them 8 and said to them, “We, as far as we are able, have bought back our Jewish brothers who have been sold to the nations, but you even sell your brothers that they may be sold to us!” They were silent and could not find a word to say. 9 So I said, “The thing that you are doing is not good. Ought you not to walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies? 10 Moreover, I and my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Let us abandon this exacting of interest. 11 Return to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive orchards, and their houses, and the percentage of money, grain, wine, and oil that you have been exacting from them.” 12 Then they said, “We will restore these and require nothing from them. We will do as you say.” And I called the priests and made them swear to do as they had promised. 13 I also shook out the fold of my garment and said, “So may God shake out every man from his house and from his labor who does not keep this promise. So may he be shaken out and emptied.” And all the assembly said “Amen” and praised the Lord. And the people did as they had promised.
The chapter finishes by Nehemiah leading by example in not expecting things out of a feeling of entitlement. It is always important that we follow the example of someone modeling the lifestyle of Christ. Any worker must apprentice under a master builder and even master builders need help finding the best way to do their work.
Nehemiah finds the nobles and officials in the land expecting a great amount from the people. Lets look at what has happened. Two different conquering nations have come in, plundered the land, and scattered the people. These few have remained as a remnant. The land is insecure, impoverished, and under someone else's rule. These nobles felt they deserved some of the better things in life, especially in light of the poor situation.
Note, however, what their sense of entitlement did to those around them. It taxed them and required more of them than they had to offer. The same goes for our feelings of entitlement. When we walk around expecting to be accommodated for what has happened to us, we tax the relationships of the people around us and ultimately expect more from them than they have to give.
It becomes a slavery of misplaced expectations. The only thing that can fill the need inside of us is God. When we place expectations on those around us to make up for the hurts we have experienced then we are placing God sized expectations on mud ball sized humans. It will ruin both relationships and destroy the rebuilding process.
Nehemiah did not tell the nobles that he understood their feelings and to just try and lower their expectations a little. Rather he called sin as sin and told them to stop asking their people to accommodate their misplaced expectations. So much so that he prayed that God would shake out and empty those who did not stop.
Note what the nobles said, they would stop and would restore. Equally important to ceasing our sense of entitlement is an active effort to restore relationships around us. This can be really difficult not only because it is humbling but because it directly attacks our stubborn desire to hold on to our feeling that we deserve better. Frankly we deserve hell, anything less is the grace of God shed for us with the blood of Jesus. We ought to remember that and be thankful.
There is a great freedom in shedding our sense of entitlement and seeking God to fill our needs. It shines a very great light on the rest of our work of rebuilding, and it begins with honest and earnest prayer.
Father, please shed light on our hearts. Help us to see our misplaced expectations and attitudes. No one owes us anything and only You can fill our needs. Help us to rely more and more on your grace. Give our hands the strength to meet the task at hand and our minds the wisdom to do it well. Turn our hearts to you God. – Amen.
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